R.I.P. Lizard

I hate to track snow into the house because it makes all kinds of puddles on the kitchen floor. So, before I come in the house I stomp stomp stomp and wipe my feet on the rug. Last night as I was stomping I happened to look down. Eeek ! I had stomped a poor little lizard to death. I have a history with small animals and squishing them. I started to tear up . I squated down to take a closer look, maybe this little lizard wasnt a complete loss. Then I realized I was crying over a stomped piece of lint.

What Would Miss Manners Do?

I am pretty sure everyone knows but I was fired about two weeks ago. I'm not quite sure how I feel. On one hand I was so tired of working with one of my coworkers. I would wake up and dread going to work, only because I knew she would be there. On the other hand there are no jobs out there. I've applied or sent resumes to 87 different places. With just 2 callbacks. Its a tough market out there.

I finally made it off the couch today and went to Target for some cleaning supplies. As I was leaving I spotted the wife of my former boss. I stopped and stared and she did the same thing. It only lasted like 4 seconds but they were really long uncomfortable seconds. I just couldnt think of anything to say and my arm wouldnt lift to make a half-assed attempt at a wave.

Now I feel like a jerk. I'm not really mad at her or her husband. I swear I wasnt sending evil thoughts or shooting spikes out my eyes. Does anyone know what Miss Manners would do in this situation?

Panda Cupcakes

Alex has a Rudd family party to go to tonight. I thought I would make something extra special!

Its not gunna happen ladies

Yup, you read that right. Sad news huh?

I asked Alex the other night if he was going to marry me and he said he wasn't planning on it. I also asked him about getting a puppy for me and he said maybe. I think I just got to pick my battles with this boy and I really do want a puppy.

So sorry ladies, no big rock, no wedding colors, vomit enducing gift registry, skanky boob enhancing corset dress or amazing 12 layer wedding cake.

He did give me a $20 as he left this morning. He told me to "Go buy yourself something nice. Like a Sody." Plus he kills bugs, lifts heavy stuff and checks under my car for parts after I hit small animals. Thats all you really need right?

Aprons?

So, I was thinking today... what if I made aprons. Like cute ones with ribbon and lace and naughty ones like I made abby for Christmas...is that a real job? I mean, can you really make money selling homemade aprons?

or should i just keep looking for a real job?

Openin' a Can o' Worms

Do you ever accidentally, possibly open a can of worms? I mean you didn't mean to open it, but somehow you did. Through no fault of your own you let someone find out a secret that should have been kept a secret. And now you have a secret in your possession that is so deliciously delicious. But it could cause some damage if that secret was let loose...

I cant wait till I lose control and spill the secret everywhere.

But not on this blog cause I think it might be considered slander.

We're Enchanted!

For those of you who dont know Alex and I are moving again. The water buffalo upstairs are just too outta control. Plus they want to increase our rent another $40...and that just blows. We took a couple loads of Alex's crap over this weekend. Our new place is located at the intersection of Enchanted Hills and Magic Hills. I think this place is gunna be all rainbows and unicorns!

I got in trouble today

*this post deleted by "the man"

oxen in apartment 22

I really hate the people that live above me. They sound like a herd of oxen. The unemployed winter flip flop wearing 30 year old husband plays gutiar hero well into the night most nights. Seriously, he's not that good. That band dream you had when you were in high school isnt going to happen, get a job. He should probably find some other hobbies too cause televised sports seem too intense for him. I can hear him up there screaming and jumping up and down. Really, how absurd is it for a grown man to scream and jump around in response to a screen displaying pictures. Its like he is more gorilla than man.

As I lay awake last night I dayreamd about things I want to do to them.
1. throw eggs at their door.
2. stick bobbie pins in the valves of their tires so they deflate
3. call the cops
4 knife their tires
5. drop a brick from my second story window onto their winshield
6. find alex's gun and shoot them through the ceiling
7. lure him into my apartment so i can shoot him and claim self defense

what should I do? vote in the comments section.

"but we are good friends"

*this post deleted by "the man"

Ladies Lunch

Yesterday I attended a ladies lunch in Sandy. The conversation ranged from drunken pilots to breast reduction surgery. We also talked about the end of the world as we delicately munched on our breadsticks.

I was informed that the end of the world is quickly approaching and in a few years I won’t even need to purchase life insurance because, as a sinner, I will just go up in a ball of flames with no need for a coffin or flower arrangement for the front of the church.
Later, while sitting on my couch of sin talking to Lucifer…I mean Alex… I decided that maybe I don’t want to join the Jesus party in heaven. If salvation requires me to try to function daily in a slightly suicidal Zoloft induced haze it’s not worth it…that shimmering halo isn’t worth playing the “I’m the prettiest/most spiritual/most humble/wealthiest” game every Sunday at 9am.

Alex comforted me by letting me know that when I am dropped into a boiling pit of magma I will most likely die from the fumes before I hit the scalding lava. And if I did reach the hotness it would only hurt for like a second or two… ten tops.

Air Supply is COMING!!

Wendover February 27th only $10 for cheap seats. Who wants to go?? ...kelly?

some ugly shoes

Here is a photo of the shoes that lead to the death of a cat....according to Alex, an unecessary death.

Kat Killer

I was driving all over the west side last night trying to find some shoes. Well, I knew what shoes I wanted I just needed to find a store that had them in my size. I was taking some back roads (aka I was lost) when this white cat ran out in front of my car. I tried to swerve but it was not the fate of this cat to live last night.

I pulled over and called Alex but he didn't pick up. I called again and again but he didn't pick up then either. I called Kelly because she would know what to do in a situation like this.

I had dried my tears and called animal control and was about to leave the parking lot where I had stopped when Alex called me back. He said that animal control wouldn't get to it till Monday and it was probably some little kids pet so he would take care of it.

So on his way home from work this morning at 6am Alex drove all around Bang-Bang and 12800 S and 11400 S cause I wasn't sure where I was when I hit the cat. When the situation was taken care of and he got home he inspected my car to make sure it was "clean". Last night I had to run from the drivers seat into the house with my eyes closed so I wouldn't see anything that may or may not have been on my car.

After Alex woke up he came in the craft room (which was formerly the man room)and saw the opened box with my new shoes in them. "Those are HIDEOUS!!!" he exclaimed. "You killed a cat over those shoes?!? Unbelievable!"

SIck Deal of the Day

So you might be wondering what I was doing at Albies last night. I was buying pasta. Lots of it! It was on sale 20 packages for $10. So of course we bought 20 packages.
All that pasta....mmmmm. look what else I have!! Anyone else want spaghetti sandwiches!?!?
Oh, and on a side note look what got left behind at my house...hmmmm. I think I will have the first ever Manda's blog giveaway. In the comments section just leave me a not why YOU need it more than anyone else.

Savvy Shopper

I might have taken my deal seeking a little to far. We were at the self checkout at Albies. Sometimes the machine will print out coupons along with your receipt. There is a trash can near the end of the lane to toss 'em if you don't want 'em. While Alex was paying I started rummaging through the can to see if there were any good coupons that had been discarded. He looked at me like I was a freakshow.

From now on I will limit my coupon scavenging ways to shopping trips without Al.

Manda's Christmas List

Just in case any of my loyal readers has waited 'til the last minute trying to find the perfect Christmas gift for me I have found a few suggestions...I found these lovely little gems at tiffany.com
I only NEED the necklace, but if you are feeling generous the matching braclet would be a nice touch.

This one is my third choice...and it doesnt come with a chain so you will have to buy that too.

Santa has Arrived!

Instead of taking your kid to the mall (with the pedophile santa) come to my house and let 'em see Santa here. I will even take their picture!
Libby: there is a shot of my $3 tree skirt.

Black Friday

Alex, Abby and I woke up at 4:30 Friday morning so we could be at Wal-Mart by 5:00. We got there just in time to watch them open the doors and the crowds of people shove their way in. We quickly split up. By 5:08 Abby and I had found everything we wanted and some other stuff too. We ventured into the electronics section to find Alex. We found him standing in line. Everyone who wanted some electronic item had to stand in one of three lines consisting of 500 people each. We were not sure which was the real line because none of them were moving. The correct line would ultimately lead you to layaway where you could receive your electronics item from behind the counter and pay for it there. After about 30 minutes I nosed around to the front of the line and discovered that the not too competent Wal-Mart employees had misplaced the pallet of cameras that we were there to purchase. I found Abz and Alex in line and we ditched Wal-Mart.

Next we headed to Target. They opened at 6:00. We found some people we knew at the front of the line and joined them. KUTV was there and caught our entrance on camera. Check it out here: http://www.kutv.com/default.aspx?articleID=71351 (scroll about 1/4 the way down. Its the movie on the right side of the screen)

Once again we split up once we gathered our items we converged on the electronics section. And then tragedy struck....some mean old lady with jello arms knocked Abby down. I heard a yelp and turned to find her in a pile of DVDs. Quickly I yelled "We got a man down!! Man down!!" and outstretched my arms to create a cocoon of safety so she could stand up. Finally we made it to the outskirts of the herd, marveled in our take and headed to the registers.

Halloween

Since its almost Thanksgiving I thought I would post some photos from Halloween.

this is the wicked sick spider we hung from the ceiling.

Shut the hell up. You're not the boss of ANYBODY!

I've had it. As of today we are not judging, condemning or threatening the lives of the members of the following groups:

-supporters of prop 8
-those against prop 8
- men in Oregon who have babies
- Mormons
-non-Mormons
- Jews
- black people
- Hispanic people
- people who don't look or sound like you
- Muslims
- people less well off than you
- peoples who's life style you don't agree with
- people you think are not as smart as you

As I read the news today I am astounded by the arrogance of the people in this country. Why cant everyone just be happy and content believing what they want to believe. Why must we try to force our beliefs on others??? Who says youre right and I'm wrong. Maybe I'm right and youre wrong and maybe youre the one who is going to be burning in hell. Ever think of that? Probably not.

Auto Source is Hiring!

I was on KSL this morning and saw this advertisement.


Um... maybe its time you actually hired someone to do your PR. Your second cousin Billy Bob just isn't cutting it anymore. I mean, is the car on fire or just going really fast to get to the nekked hot dog eating contest before they throw out the hot dog water?

The day the Po Po came

There was quite a commotion this afternoon at work. There was a ambulance, a fire truck, a police car and a girl cryin and talking to a po po while smokin her smoke. It was very intriguing.Alisa really wanted to get out there and see what was going on, but she felt kinda silly standing in the hall looking out the window so she looked out the window of our office through the hall windows into the parking lot.


She wanted to see what was going on so bad that she had her face squished up against the window. I just had to take a picture from the outside.

*this post is dedicated to kelly's post for today which made the whole office laugh.

my mac is back !

A couple weeks ago the power cord that keeps my mac alive somehow died. I took it to the mac store. The employees there are super nerds but are so helpful. They figured out that it was my cord not the computer that was broken. Then were even able to print my receipt for the cord I bought there 3 months ago. The super nerd gave me the 1-800 number for the manufacturer and told me to call to get a replacement part.

A couple days later I called "Tom" who I am sure was named Muhammad or Ali or Zara 'cause he had an awful strong accent. "Tom" told me he couldn't replace my cord because the cords were defective. "Tom" told me I could pick anything else on the website in place of the defective power cord. I asked "Tom" if he realized it was a power cord and if I cant turn the thing on I cant use speakers or software or and other gadget found on his site. He politely told me I could have anything on the site.

So I ordered a knockoff from China from Ebay.

I got it today and now my mac is back on!!! woo hoo!!!

"I can't feel the peddles!!!"

A patient called to schedule an appointment today. He is 70+ and is coming in for numbness in his feet. He cant feel them. At the end of the call he asked me to email the office address to him because he was driving.

Um...really? You cant feel your feet and you are driving and talking on the phone??? I makes me consider taking the bus again for protection.

Parking

My pottery class is held downtown just 2 blocks north of the Energy Solutions Arena where the Jazz play. I didn't know the Jazz had a game last night or I wouldn't have driven to class. When I arrived there were cars EVERYWHERE. Parking was available for a mere $10. I thought about driving a couple miles away, parking and riding the train back to class. But then I saw this spot. I had to parallel park. And I did it on my first try... for the first time ever... on a busy street... without hitting any other cars...and no one honked at me. ta daa.

I Passed!

I got my midterm back. It got top spot on the fridge and a gold star.

Preparing for the Recession

We eat a lot of beans at my house. Black beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, chili beans and occasionally some green beans. Since the economy hasn't been as stable as I would prefer it to be and prices have been shooting up up and away I tend to stock my bean supply every time I go to the grocery store. Sooner or later I am going to start storing them under my bed, but for now they just take up most of my pantry.Alex did a little stocking up of his own last night. This is what he bought:

Yup, that's right. I live with one of those freaks who think bullets are a better purchase than beans. I am just waiting for the day when I get home and he is all dressed up in his camo with his face painted black and guns strapped all over his body ready to head up to the mountains where it is "safe". When that happens can my beans and I move in with you?

Spider toes

I got my toes done. yup, those are spiders on them.

Spider toes spider toes does whatever a spider toes does....

Economics Midterm

Last night was my Economics midterm. Here are a few things I was daydreaming about while I should have been focused on my test.

- Why do people walk up to the counter and breathlessly ask where the bathroom is. They are desperately urgent. I mean, cant you feel the urine coming?

- Tapeworms or another type of parasite would be an excellent weigh loss method. If only I could figure out how to inject them and then come up with an antibiotic to kill them after they sucked 20lbs out of you, I would be a millionaire.

- Why in high school was I not invited to go to the Barbara Barrington Jones extravaganza "Be Your Best Self" week getaway? I mean was I already my best self or did they think I was already too far gone?

- You know on the radio they traffic report says traffic is "stop and go" Its really not going. Its just stopped. Silly traffic report girl.

I finally finished my test. It was a toughie. I was like just 5 pages of terms that I was supposed to define, true false and essay questions. Mr. Vincent where was the multiple choice and fill in the blank with a word box???

1 o'clock freakshow

*this post deleted by the man

Super Sick Deal

Al and I did a little grocery shopping the other night. We bought: cottonell toilet paper, bryers ice cream, ragu, 2 velveeta mac & cheese, 2 chili seasonings, 15 cans of beans, 2 frozen pizzas, 2 trick or treat pumpkins, some electronics and 2 boxes of coke.

The subtotal came to $97.39. After coupons and discounts I ended up writing a check for $26.69. I'm a super savy shopper super savy shopper super super super savy shopper!

New Office Rules

*this post deleted by "the man"

Sharpie Suprise

A couple days ago I placed an order for some yellow highlighters. Today the order came and Alisa surprised me with 5 multi colored collectors edition in a case set! Whhaaaatt?!?? so. totally. excited.

Gift Request Forms

I have received quite a few request forms this season and there are a couple things that are just driving me crazy. 1. The stupid clear address labels with my address printed in cursive font. Youre not fooling me. I know you were either too lazy to address it yourself or had only a three week engagement and couldn't address all 600 invitations in that timeframe. 2. Nothing says, "I want to share my special day with you" like Bride is registered at Target printed in bold at the bottom of the invitation. Seriously! I found some helpful etiquette tips online at the knot.com and I thought I would post and share.

Q. I'm thinking about using labels to address my wedding invitations. I've heard several people say this is tacky. I know handwriting them is more formal, but I just think labels will be less time-consuming. What do you think?

A.You're absolutely right that labels would be less time-consuming, but the reason most invites are addressed by hand isn't just that it's more formal -- it's also more personal. It shows your guests that you so want them to be at your wedding that you took the time to handwrite (or have a calligrapher hand-letter) their name and address on the envelope. It's true that it can be a hassle to address so many envelopes yourself. Think about getting your wedding party to help you out (make it a party!) and it'll go much faster.

Q. We are ready to send out our invitations. The only problem is that we don't know whether we should include a card stating where we are registered. In the past, I have received some invitations with one and some without.

A.No gift information should be included with your wedding invitations. Tell your wedding party, parents, and close friends where you are registered, and let them fill guests in. Guests know that they are supposed to ask your mom, your maid of honor, or even you where you're registered. Putting it in the invite is still considered bad form because it suggests that the gift is more important than the potential guest.

I thought Utah was the wedding capitol of the US. Why don't they teach this in Sunday school or something???

Waiting and Peeing

*this post deleted by "the man"

Arrested Development

I heard a rumor today that they are making an Arrested Devlopment movie. Seriously...seriously... totally stoked. Lets hope its true.

fill 'er up!

I was supposed to get gas last night after class, but I just received this email about gang members who hide under your car when you are getting gas. They cut your ankles and push you over and steal your car. Sometimes they run over your bleeding body as they speed away. Plus I was tired.

I was also going to get gas on my way to work, but I forgot again.

I was getting off the 215 and merging onto I-15 when my car went pluh pluh kerpluuuuuh. Luckily I made it to the "oh crap I ran out of gas" lane.

I called work and requested an emergency rescue. I had to abandon my poor car on the freeway.

Shanda took me to rescue my car during lunch. When we pulled up behind it there was this ugly mark on the window!! My car had been branded. It is the scarlet letter of fill-up foolishness.

It's A Girl!!!!

Stella arrived Saturday night real late. She is 46 inches long and weighs 19.2 lbs. SO cute!
It was a hard decision, but after much contemplation I decided not to get the Dyson. But then I had a weak moment and bought it anyway. But I got a deal.

Original price = $400
target gift card w/ purchase = $100
team member discount = $40
red card discount = $36
total price = $224

When I got her home I vacuumed the whole house... at 11:30pm. I am sure my downstairs neighbors understand. The vacuum lines on the carpet sent chills up my back and made it totally worth it.

Pancho's

Remember Pancho's? Remember tamales and chili rellanos? And those different colored plates so everyone in the restaurant knew how much you were planning on eating? How about letting your food flag fly or pinatas on you birthday? Remember honey soaked sopallias?

It can all be yours once again. We are taking a road trip to Phoenix or maybe Albuquerque... or maybe one of the other Panchos locations.

Plane tickets are about $297 each. So the best option would be to pile too many people in one car and split gas like... 16 ways. We could also get a one bed hotel room and squeeze everyone in there. If we are traveling for mexican food we should travel like real mexicans.

Please respond in the comments section with dates that will work for you as well as how many people you plan on bringing. ole'

10 years ago I:
1. was in the 8th grade at Middle Magnet
2. was obsessed with knights
3. was strugling with recently being labled "gifted"
4. was makeing murals on my bedroom walls
5. was in love with Grant Judkins

5 things on today's "to do" list:
1. try not to kill anyone at work
2. interview
3. laundry
4. clean the bathroom counter
5. make a treat for tomorrow?

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. coke
2. chili's chips and salsa
3. almonds
4. otter pops
5. nerds

5 things I would do if I were a multimillionaire:
1. become debt free
2. buy a house and paint it any color I want
3. quit my job and work for planned parenthood
4. buy a dog and spoil it
5. take many many vacations

5 places I have lived:
1. Shreveport, LA
2. Lehi, UT
3. Mesa, Az
4. Provo/Orem, UT
5. Cottonwood Heights, UT

Five jobs I have had:
1. cut counter girl @ JoAnns
2. office underling @ WaterQuest
3. billing girl @ Excel Cable
4. medical receptionist @ Urology Clinic
5. medical receptionist @ Utah Spine & Joint

Lost & Found

Normally when patients leave stuff in our office its "finders keepers". There are some items though that no one wants. We put these items in the lost and found. We have a few pairs of glasses that have been sitting around forever? Do they belong to you? Do they look familiar? Lemme know

.

Utah State Fair

Last night Alex and I went to the Utah State Fair. It was pretty awesome. The goats licked our fingers.

The pigs had flies all over them and it made me sick. Gross pigs. We didnt make it all the way through the pig shack.
Most of the sheep had coats. But there were no lambs. I wanted to see the lambs. Alex had to inform me that there are only lambs in the spring. Big drooly sheep are not cute.
Alex got a deep fried twinkie. It was so gross, totally not worth the $5.50. We also got to see a real live alligator and a "Tigers of India" show. There were a bunch of freaks there but they were just walking around, we didnt have to pay an entrance fee to see them.

Counter Etiquette

*this post deleted by "the man"

spinal injections

My back has been bothering me for a while now. It finally got so bad that I went to see a doctor. After having an MRI the doctor told me I have 2 herniated discs in my lower back. Yikes!


He said I needed an injection in my back. They take this super long needle and stick it in your back inbetween the vertebre that the discs are bulging out of. Here is a picture of the 6 inch needle they jabbed in my back.
This is the table that I had to lie on. The big machine is called the C-arm and is a mobile ultrasound. They move it around to make sure the needle goes in just the right place.

This is the screen the doctor looks at to show the needle. After the injection my back and leg felt soooo much better. And my butt was numb- this was an added bonus no one warned me about. My sweet Alex drove me to work so I didnt wreck yet another car.

I was having a good morning, being butt numb and all, when Laura told me that my insurance had called and said the injection wasn't approved. They verbally approved it last week, but called this morning to inform us that, really, it wasnt. I freaked out. Spinal Injections cost about $1200 a piece!!!!!

Thanks to Laura's hardwork this disaster has been adverted. She must have backed dated something or threatened bodily harm, but Selet Health decided they are going to cover it now. Way to Go Laura!